What Words Are You Saying To Yourself?

by | Feb 21, 2019 | Encouragement

Words are powerful. They are important. We know that, right? They have the power of life or death within them.

Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

Proverbs 18:21 MSG

Yes, our words are powerful.

We’re taught from our youth to only speak words that are kind. My mother used to tell me, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” That didn’t stop me, however, from speaking unkind things to my younger brother when we would have childhood fights. (Sorry, Pat!)

In the heat of the moment I’ve also been known to say not-so-kind words to the person whom I’m closest to, my husband. Over the years, I look back and wish I could take back or erase every unkind one I’ve spoken to him or anyone else. But, in reality, that’s like putting toothpaste back in the tube after it’s squeezed out. Once the words are out, they’re out. Sure, we can apologize (and that’s of most importance), but they can linger long after the apology’s been spoken.

What words are you saying to yourself?

What about the words we say to ourselves?

In talking with a friend a while back, I mentioned how the words I had been saying to myself were not so kind. They shadowed the mistakes I’ve made, the disappointments I’ve experienced, and the goals I’ve never met. They highlighted my failures, faults, and flaws. Sadly, what I was saying to myself had become unkind, condemning, and extremely negative.

The unnerving thing was, I was caught off-guard. The words appeared in my mind without me fully realizing they were there. Until the day I told my friend. It’s no wonder I had been struggling with a negative attitude and an unhealthy perspective!

The thing is, they were ones I would have never said to anyone else. They were too mean, too critical. The question my friend helped me ask myself was if what I’m saying isn’t appropriate to say to anyone else, why am I saying it to me?

Good point.

What have you been saying to yourself?

Things that are kind or condemning? Uplifting and encouraging or negative and discouraging? Are you saying what your Creator–the Lover of your soul–would say to you or about you?

Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Proverbs 16:24 NLT

We can replace what’s negative with what’s healing and healthy.

My friend encouraged me to take a couple pages in my journal and write on one page the negative things I had been telling myself. On the opposite page to write healthy words to replace the negative ones. (So wise!) I then looked up scripture for what God has to say about them.

For example, to replace words of worthlessness, I wrote in my journal, “I am worthy.” I then searched the word “worthy” in my Bible app or in the back of my Bible. I found Colossians 1:10 and Psalm 139 and wrote down how God says I’m worthy.

Since God’s words are much more powerful than my own, I continue to replace what’s negative and unhealthy with God’s perspective. That’s the one that matters most! I go back to my journal when necessary, which tends to be often.

If you’re realizing you’ve been saying unkind things to yourself, give this a try. What a difference it has made for me! My self-talk is much more encouraging and God-honoring!

Our brains believe what we tell them.

Friend, what you say to yourself is important. I encourage you to be aware of the words you’re telling yourself today. The thing is, our brains believe what we tell them. Tell yours how God sees you. How you are chosen, worthy, loved, wonderfully made, set apart, forgiven, and brave. Write them down. Read them often. Believe them. Tell them to yourself often. Because those words, my friend, are true.

God bless you!

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  1. Cindy

    I’m pretty sure from my previous comments you already know what most of my self talk is like. I just had a thought tho that proves it. When I was younger the only time my full name, “Cynthia” was used was when I had done something wrong. I knew immediately when I heard it that I had failed or disappointed my mom. Don’t you know? I just realized that when I talk to myself it most often begins with…..CYNTHIA….I alert myself from the beginning that it’s going to be bad! Hilarious! I’ve never thought about it before. Maybe there’s a future blog post in there! I think your suggestion is such a good one and I’m going to try and do that as I say negative things to myself. As always you are so wise and I thank you for sharing it with us!

    • Julie Lefebure

      Isn’t that interesting?! With how you realized how you address yourself, that is a powerful realization. We can certainly change what we say to ourselves, and the first step is acknowledging what we say! Yours is a perfect example. I’d love to read your blog post about this! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and words here, Cindy. Always a joy!


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