What If We Disagree? Can We Still Be Friends?

by | Jun 26, 2022 | Encouragement, Love Others

Her words in her post stung a little. I couldn’t help but wonder if she meant what she wrote. Did she really mean to post on her social feed that if people didn’t agree with her she no longer wanted to associate with them? I didn’t and don’t agree with her stance on this particular subject, so does that mean I can no longer be friends with her?

Is this where we are now?

Is this how we are treating each other these days? Are relationships now determined by agreeing on what we believe or how we feel about certain subjects or issues? Because if they are, I’m not down for it. I’m not participating in such behavior. Because I believe we are better than that. I believe relationships are more important that the issues we face. And I believe the people in my life can make be better, not bitter.

What if we disagree? Can we still be friends? | 4 friends sitting on a dock

In my book we don’t have to agree to be friends.

We don’t have to see eye-to-eye on every subject to hang out. You and I don’t have to believe the same, act the same, vote the same, nor view life the same to be buddies. We don’t. Because if you and I disagree, I believe we can still be friends. I believe we are better together, even if we don’t agree.

Like our friends who don’t share the same faith as us, yet we’ve gone on vacations together.

Like my friends who don’t vote the same as me, yet we hang out together often.

And those friends who don’t believe the same as me regarding abortion, or human sexuality, or vaccination status, yet we enjoy each other’s company.

We don’t have to be the same, believe the same, act the same, or live the same to be friends.

We just don’t.

In fact, if our friends were exactly like us, how boring would that be? Are you friends with people who are just like you? Do you only hang out with those who believe and vote like you? Probably not. Sure, we may be naturally drawn to those who are like us, but I’m guessing we each have people in our lives who are different than us.

And I see that as a good thing.

We can enjoy befriending those who are different than us, because we are able to learn from them. We gain different perspectives from different people. Others make us better in general, don’t they?

But one thing I don’t tolerate is negativity and hostility.

Because that’s not something I allow in my life. Not in person, nor on social media. Some days it’s hard enough to remain encouraged because of what real life throws at us. We don’t need negative influences to make matters worse. So, it’s wise to choose who we spend time with. It’s wise to take a look at who we follow on social media. If our feeds make us cringe or cause us to become agitated or depressed, then I say it’s time to make some changes.

We can unfollow those who cause division and dissention. We can choose who we allow space in our feeds. In fact, I unfollowed a couple people this week who caused me to feel all sorts of negative emotions and increased my anxiety. We don’t need any more of that in our lives, do we? We can choose for our lives and our social feeds to be filled with hope and encouragement instead.

It’s good to set boundaries in life and in our social feeds.

In fact, it’s healthy to do so.

Are there any areas in life where setting boundaries would help us? What’s one thing you and I can do today to positively affect our lives and social feeds when it comes to setting boundaries?

I’m thankful for the friends who accept me for who I am and for what I believe. I’ll be that kind of friend to you, too. And this reminds me of Luke 6:31.

Think of the kindness you wish others would show you; do the same for them.

Luke 6:31 VOICE

And I’ll do all I can to love you right where you are. Yes, even if we disagree.

I’m glad we don’t have to agree on everything to be friends. Thank you for being here. God bless you.

Find additional encouragement at julielefebure.com/resources/.

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  1. Kim

    Hey Julie,

    So much truth here. Over the years, some of my most interesting conversations have been with individuals who hold some position that differs from mine. It’s fascinating to hear the why’s and how’s that brought someone to the place they are. Most of the time it expands my understanding. Occasionally it helps me hold more firmly.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Kim! You described exactly what I experience when others have differing positions than me. Thank you for sharing that. I’m so glad from my perspective our differing opinions with others still allows us to be friends. Have a great day!


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