I pulled down the basket off my closet’s top shelf that sat unattended for the last seven months. As I peered into it, my heart picked up it’s beating pace. It felt as if it would beat straight out of my chest.
“Will I be able to fit into these from last year?”
The outdoor temperatures had finally risen to the point it was time to pull out the summer clothes. Shorts, tank tops, swimsuits, sun dresses and the like.
This was the moment I had been working for. This was the moment I had pictured in my mind for months. This was the moment I wanted to feel like a winner and not a loser.
I’ll blame the winter blahs for affecting my consistent workout routines. When February arrived, with it came my commitment to eat healthy and exercise more regularly.
But would it be enough to fit in my clothes from last summer?
My mind revisited my effort: The mornings on the treadmill. My lower and upper body workouts that left my muscles feeling like rubber bands one day, and stiff and sore the next. The long walks and jogs outside on our gravel road. The change of food intake and giving up of certain favorite foods for a time.
Would it all be enough?
“What if these shorts don’t fit? What will I do? Not only will I feel worthless, I’ll also feel the effort I put forth the last few months was for nothing. Please, Lord, make them fit.”
Then it hit me.
“Did I really just pray for God to help these shorts fit? Really, Julie??”
I was allowing this moment to define me. I was putting more emphasis on the result of healthy living instead of the blessings living it out.
Emotionally, this was a dangerous place to be. I’ve been there before, and I don’t care to linger there again. When we allow events, things, circumstances or other people to define who we are, we have a skewed, and often unhealthy, view of our worth.
Our worth comes from the One who Created us. Not from anything else.
So what, if these shorts don’t fit. Do they change who I am? I am still the same girl. In God’s eyes I am worthy, not worthless. I have taken steps to live healthy, and if the results don’t show it today, it’s okay. I am who God says I am, not who these shorts, or anyone, or anything else says I am.
Now, it really doesn’t matter if the shorts ended up fitting or not, does it? But for the sake of not leaving you hanging like a season-ending t.v. episode often does, all but one pair fit comfortably. I was thankful.
The next time something tries tell you you’re worthless, even if it’s your own self as you are trying on last year’s clothes, I pray you don’t listen. YOU ARE WORTHY. Not because I say so, but because God does.
And He’ll use whatever means possible to remind you of that. Maybe even a pair of shorts.
Hugs to you today, worthy one!
(Linking up with #TestimonyTuesday with Holly Barrett and friends.)
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