“Women Are Messed Up”

by | Apr 21, 2014 | Encouragement

Before those of us of the female gender become offended at my above title, please allow me to explain.

My heart broke for our gender the other evening.

My husband and I enjoyed a relaxing dinner at one of our favorite spots. There, I was startled at the behavior some of our gender displayed toward each other.

One woman first caught my eye. As another woman walked away from the ordering counter, this woman stared intently at her, almost as if she was mentally critiquing her appearance. Now I won’t begin to guess what was going on in the mind of this woman, but the look on her face revealed her thoughts weren’t positive.

Another woman, displayed a judging look toward a woman who was donning a beautiful long skirt and denim jacket (who was unaware of the look she received).

And I watched as one woman fixed her eyes on another standing by. Her eyes scanned this woman from head to toe.

Why are we women doing this kind of stuff to each other?

Then it happened… I am embarrassed to say, I caught myself thinking judgmental thoughts of the girl working behind the counter…

That girl really shouldn’t be wearing that dress. It is not becoming on her.

Ugh. I stopped myself before thinking one more judgmental thought (and I repented!).

As I watched these types of behaviors happen, I shared them, one by one, with Bill. And I shared the judgmental thought that flitted through my mind.

I then said the words aloud that were screaming in my head…

“Women are messed up.”

Ladies, what are we doing?

Why are we “sizing each other up” in our minds? Why do we compare ourselves, based on what we see on the outside? Why are we judging what other women wear, how other women act, what other women are doing?

Friends, instead of critiquing each other, we should be encouraging each other. We should be building each other up in our minds, not tearing each other down.

Our hearts should appreciate each other’s uniquenesses, not judge them. We are of one gender. To bless each other. To come alongside of each other. To lift each other along in our journeys.

I chose to smile at the next woman who looked at me. I caught her off-guard, and she did a “double-take.” The next woman smiled back. The third woman looked away.

Refuse to judge edited

Friends, can we please change this, starting today?

Can we vow to stop judging each other?

Can we compliment aloud instead of silently critique?

Can we say a silent prayer for the woman next to us, instead of condemning her?

Can we think only positive thoughts of a woman who walks in the room, instead of making her feel like an outsider?

Ladies, please join me in this charge to encourage those in our gender. I don’t believe there’s ever been a time on this earth that we women need it more.

And I’ll be the first to say, if we “women are messed up,” I’m probably the one who is messed up the most! (Smile.)

Much love to each of you today!


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