When Our Mess-Ups Are Good

by | Mar 12, 2016 | Parenting, personal journey

If there was one thing, or situation, or moment from your past you could do over, what would it be?

Friend, I have so many. Too many to name here.

But a few of mine are…

Making a better choice at a party in high school.

Not saying the words, “I hate you” to my mother when I was a teenager.

Having more patience with my aging parents.

As I’ve recalled and relived many of these what I refer to as “do-over moments,” I’ve experienced guilt, shame, embarrassment, heartache, sadness, and remorse. And, I’ve repented.

Yes, these “do-over moments” can be painful.

Yet, I believe good can come from our mess-ups too.

Good can come from our mess-ups1 – When we learn a lesson from the moments we’d like to do over, we’ll most likely not make the same mistake again. That’s a great thing!

2 – When we can share our mess-ups humbly with another, we can hopefully save someone else from making the same mistake. Our lessons help others.

3 – Our mess-ups are a part of our story, and a part of who we are. It’s okay to learn from them and move on. We don’t need to stay stuck in condemnation.

4 – When we are vulnerable and open about the moments we aren’t so proud of, we become real and genuine in other’s eyes. We give others hope!

Most of my mistakes I’ve shared with my children when appropriate. They know many of the lessons I learned the hard way in my teenage years. And they’ve seen first-hand some of the ones I walked through as an adult.

I want my kids to not make the same mistakes I did. I want them to learn from my mess-ups, and to understand some of the consequences I’ve experienced because of them. I desire for them to make better choices and to help others in their lives to do the same.

They also know their mom isn’t perfect. They see I am real, just like them, and I have my own struggles, just like they do.

Yes, our mess-ups can do good.

And God can use them to grow us and to point others to Him.

If you might be hiding your mistakes, or kicking yourself because of them, I encourage you to step away from that behavior, to ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself and move on. If you can, be open about them, and help others see more of you and your real story. You may encourage another to make a better choice next time.

I’m thankful we get to walk this road of life together… imperfectly and encouragingly. I’m thankful for you!





Linking up with Barbie for Weekend Whispers.

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  1. Carly

    Lots of wisdom here. It’s definitely better to learn from our mistakes and move on than to continue to beat ourselves up. I agree that, while it’s not always easy to share them with others, it is good so that they can learn from them too, and it deepens our connection with them. I’m your neighbour today at Weekend Whispers.

    • Julie Lefebure

      I agree, Carly. There’s freedom in sharing when it’s safe to do so. So thankful you stopped over and blessed me with your words. Have a beautiful day!

  2. Carrie

    How I can relate to messing up! I too have shared a few of my mess ups with my teen daughter, praying she hears the negative consequences from my choice, and wisely chooses another path! Thank you for sharing!

    • Julie Lefebure

      Amen, Carrie. God can use our mess-ups for good, even to reach our own kids! Praising God for you and your story today!

  3. Bob Bateman

    Dear Julie: I just found you tonight. I would like your postal address so I could write to you, sharing MY life of serving Jesus for 52 years. He has given me two ministries: Writing for Him/Singing for Him! I recorded a Gospel album in Hollywood: I would send it to you if I had your address! I have had a remarkable life: Jesus sent me free from homosexuality! It is gone! I am as eager for Jesus as you are is what I sense in my spirit. What I have is VERY needed! I send out either cassette tapes or CD’s of my songs — I have wanted to travel and sing for Him for 52 years, Julie: I feel in my bones now: It is about to begin! My phone: 208-342-4889. I would put my photo here if I knew how. I am on Facebook: nametabbob@gmail.com. Home address: Bob Bateman, 3708 Pinehurst Drive, Boise, Idaho 83703. I write about how extremely near the Rapture is! I love the ministry of Jack Van Impe! I have written a few songs for my Lord. I sang in the Kathrine Kuhlman at Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles for monthly Divine Healing services: It was POWERFUL! I hope you receive this ok. Get in touch with me. Bless you, Julie!

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Bob. Thank you for sharing some of your story. Isn’t our God amazing?! May God continue to bless and equip you, as you make His Son known.


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