When The Way You Parent Isn’t Popular

by | May 3, 2016 | Parenting

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. Proverbs 22:6

I can’t begin to count the times over the years I questioned our parenting skills as we raised our two children. Were my husband and I raising our children the “right” way? Were we being too strict? Too lenient? Why does our parenting look different than others’?

Oh, how I wished parenting came with an owner’s manual!

If you’re a parent, you’ve probably already realized our personal beliefs, values, and morals are often shown through our lives, and especially through our parenting. They tend to shape our decisions, our actions, how we discipline, what we teach our children, etc.

It didn’t take long for my husband and I to see our beliefs, values, and morals were in contrast with other parents around us. How we were raising our kids looked noticably different than how they were raising theirs.

Like when my daughter’s friends were all going to a boy/girl party in fifth grade, and we didn’t permit our daughter to go.

Like how we didn’t (still don’t) allow horror movies to be shown in our home, but other parents allowed them in theirs.

And like how we made attending church and Bible study a priority in our family, and yet, those weren’t important in the lives of many of other families.

We all believe the way we parent is the best. I guess I’m no different. But still, I questioned if we were doing it “right.”

Other parents, along with our kids, didn’t agree with some of our parenting choices. We were at times the most unpopular parents around.

But we had to be okay with that. We needed to let go of others’ expectations.

Many didn’t understand our parenting was immersed in prayer. Many didn’t grasp how those unpopular decisions were guided by God and His Word. And many didn’t know how we took our roles as parents seriously. God entrusted us to be our children’s parents, and how we raised them mattered.

We are accountable to God for how we raise our children.

We are accountable to God for how we raise the children He blessed us with.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a real blessing. Psalm 127:3 GNT

Parenting is tough work, no doubt. And just because ours looked different than others’, doesn’t mean ours was best. We simply kept our eyes on the One Who was leading us.

Yes, we messed up. Yes, there were times I wanted a “do-over.” Yes, I still don’t have this parent thing mastered, even after our children are grown.

We continue to pray and ask for God’s guidance.

Mom, Dad, are you questioning your parenting today? Does everyone else seem to parent their children differently than you?

If I may encourage you, when you seek God in the ways you are raising your children, He’s already guiding you. Take confidence in Him to lead you. Even if the way you parent is unpopular. Even if it’s different than how everyone else is doing it.

As you parent, stay strong in the lord, stay strong in your parentingStay strong in the Lord. Stay strong your parenting.

Some day your kids will thank you for how you raised them. (Yes, they will, believe it or not!)

And what’s most important is you’re doing what God is calling you to do…. raising them according to His standards and His truths.

Keep going, Mom and Dad.

Being an unpopular parent is quite okay.

Praying for you today!




P.S. Stay tuned! We’ll be discussing parenting again later this week!


Linking up with my Tuesday friends: Crystal for #IntentionalTuesday, Kelly for #RaRaLinkup, and Holly for #TestimonyTuesday


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  1. Michele Morin

    Oh, yes! So happy to know that the “Unpopular Parent’s Club” is peopled with wonderful folks like you! There have been days when I picture myself flung against the door to our house trying to hold out all the evil influences, the door bulging behind me. Over-dramatic, I know, and there is much good out there as well, but there is so much pressure for kids to take the wrong path early on!

  2. Rachel Quigley

    This is so true, Julie! We have made some unpopular choices in our parenting but we go back to the idea that we are accountable to God not to the status quo. And now that our kids are getting older we see the fruit of those hard choices. There have been multiple times our oldest daughter has texted or called from college saying, “Thank you…. thank you for raising me the way you do!” I know not everyone gets those results but I credit it completely to God because I know we were not perfect parents and we made some bad choices and not so good attitudes sometimes exuded from us in not so good way. But I thank God that as we pursue Him and His ways, He works all things for our good. Thanks for this good word and reminder! (Stopping by from #IntentionalTuesday) Have a great day!

  3. Kristi Woods

    Hi Julie! I’ve often longed for a parenting guide. That’s probably the area where I feel most uncertain. Some days I simply have no clue. But then again, every time there’s prayer, God answers. And boy, has He been faithful to guide lately! I’m going to bundle up your words to “stay strong” and keep them with me in this journey. So much appreciated, friend! Visiting via #intentionalTuesday and #raralinkup.

  4. Tiffany Parry

    I love your parenting posts, Julie. I think your wisdom applies to so much we face as Christians that is viewed as unpopular. We do have to make an account for our lives, and it won’t be to the neighbor across the street who thinks we ought to do things her way. Great encouragement to stay the course and fix our eyes on our Audience of One! Blessings, friend – popping over from #testimonytuesday today.

  5. Lori Schumaker of Seaching for Moments

    Hi Julie,
    Such truth here! It’s interesting because we recently have found ourselves on both sides of this coin. In one situation, we appear way too conservative to the others and then in the other situation, not conservative enough! If we try to line ourselves up by the standards of others, we will never succeed. Rather, we must line our choices up with God’s Word and God’s direction in our lives. If we do that, we ultimately come out victoriously. Great post! I’m sharing everywhere!
    Blessings and smiles,
    p.s. I’m hosting a new link-up called Moments of Hope on Mondays. I would love to have you join me with one of your beautiful hope-filled posts!


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