“If it is to be, it’s up to me.”
For years I believed this to be true.
I lived and worked and performed nearly every activity like it was up to me.
I was raised to be an independent girl. Growing up with three brothers allowed me many an opportunity to stand up for myself and be strong. “You gotta be tough” were our father’s famous words of encouragement when life didn’t go our way, or when we felt beaten up by the world.
My independence and strength were wonderful gifts. Yet, all too often, these same gifts propelled me toward a “no one can do it as good as I can” mentality. Sure, God could do everything, but I lived as if He needed my help and as if every detail of my life was up to me.
If I wanted something to happen, I was the one to make it happen.
I did everything I could to make my goals a reality. Some were achieved, and more were not.
I did everything I could to raise my children in God’s ways. Some days they’ve followed His ways, and some days they have not.
I did everything I could to do more, to be more, to please God and others, to jump through hoops, to do this and do that, and to strive for perfection. It led to burnout and breakdown.
I did everything I could to pray for both my father’s and mother’s physical healing, but God didn’t heal them.
What happens when we’ve done all we can do, and it’s still not enough??
Didn’t I work hard enough? Wasn’t my faith strong enough? Didn’t I believe enough? Weren’t my prayers powerful enough?
At some point I came to the realization the common words in all of this were “I’ and “my.” God was left out of the equation.
It’s a lesson I learned a painful and hard way…
If something is meant to be, it isn’t up to me. It’s up to God.
Those goals? I can see how He saved me from my striving self.
My kids not perfectly following God’s ways? He’s allowed me to experience a tiny taste of how He sees me as my Father.
All that striving which led to burnout? He led me be still and to know He is God.
And my father and mother? He healed them ultimately, in His perfect plan of salvation.
Friend, when it’s all up to us, we can never do enough.
But when it’s all up to God, He’s more than enough.
Our God can be trusted. He is faithful. He brings to pass what is best for you and me.
For the God who calls you is faithful, and He can be trusted to make it so. 1 Thessalonians 5:24
If you’ve done all you can, and given all you can give, and prayed all you can pray, don’t do one more thing. Rest in His sovereignty. Rest in His care. Rest in knowing He’s bringing His best to pass.
If it is to be, He’ll make it so.
May we each rest and rejoice in this truth today.
I’m linking this post with the beautiful Suzie Eller for #livefreeThursday. It’s a great day to live free!
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