Have you ever had one of those days? I think all of us have! You know that kind of day…one that seems to fall apart everywhere you turn? A day that you struggle to keep a positive attitude because nothing seems to go right? A day where no matter how hard you try, your best just isn’t good enough? A day where you fight back the tears because you know once the tears come, they won’t stop? A day where you fight the feelings of giving in, giving up, giving out?
I so wish I could say I never have those days, but today was one of those days for me…a day when I needed to see God the most. And you know what? He appeared in a way I didn’t expect…I know it was totally Him!
My day was filled with errands, office work, and phone calls in between the time of taking the kids to and picking them up from school. A few things happened that affected me emotionally, and from that point on, I couldn’t seem to bounce back. Things just kept snowballing…one thing after another! I felt like waving a flag and yelling, “I surrender! I give up!”
I became so exhausted in the afternoon…which is unlike me. I mustered up enough energy though, and after school the kids and I went to visit our friend Steve in the hospital. We were excited to take him the Bible we got for him. All four of us signed it and I wrote a scripture verse on the first page to encourage him. He had tears in his eyes when we gave it to him. I saw God there as I witnessed his tears. He was so grateful and thankful. Today was the first time I saw Steve slipping a little…he wasn’t quite tracking with us all the time mentally. That was tough for me. Before we left he opened up to the book of Matthew and was beginning to read it. I smiled to him and to myself. God showed himself to me in a way in that hospital room that I didn’t expect.
After coming home and struggling with my lingering emotions, and having a teenage-type spat with Ali, I came down to my office. I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore…lots of them came streaming down my face. Within a few minutes I heard someone barreling down the steps, so I wiped my tears away as quickly as I could before Zach came bounding through my door. He held up a Indianapolis Colts calendar and said with lots of excitement, “See my new calendar?” I replied with, “What?” He proceeded to tell me that our friend Karen stopped by just for a second on her way to a basketball game, and dropped off this calendar for him (both of them share a love for the Colts)! He was so excited! I tried to act like myself and be excited for him. As he turned to bound back out of my office, he said, “Oh, and she brought a card for you.”
Within a few minutes he was back, still carrying his new calendar in his right hand and an envelope in his left hand…in which he handed to me. God is so good! Here I was in the midst of “emotional chaos,” with tears streaming down my face, and He (God), at that very moment has Karen stop by and bring me a card!
I opened it up, and the tears came back even harder. Here’s what Karen wrote…”Julie, how do I ever begin to thank you for your strength, encouragement and presence in my life?! May our great and awesome God bless you double for all of the kindness you’ve shown me! Love, Karen” God encouraged me through Karen…almost as if He was saying, “Keep going…it’s going to be okay. I’m here for you.” I am humbled right now and in complete awe! God continues to be faithful, He continues to love me, He continues to encourage me, and He continues to provide for me…at the precise time I need Him.
But do you think I once turned to Him today in my “emotional chaos?” I know that’s what I should have done…but why didn’t I? When will I ever learn? I guess God reached out to me instead…and I’m so glad He did!
So, I saw God twice today. I feel like I am a blessed woman…despite the emotional stuff still lingering. God is so good. Where did you see God today?
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