Accept The Apology You Never Received

by | Jun 9, 2014 | Encouragement, Love Others

Today’s post is one I wrote last month on my Live Laugh Linger blog.

God’s Word is very clear on forgiving those who “trespass against us.” Even when they don’t apologize.

Matthew 6:14 reads,

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

With God’s help I can forgive those who have offended me. I’ve learned it’s not something I can naturally do on my own.

If you’re struggling with forgiveness today, I pray this encourages you.

Peace comes from accepting the apology you never received.

I was hurt.

How could this person, who I thought cared about me, hurt my heart in this way? I didn’t understand.

After letting my hurt be known, I expected an apology. And quite frankly, I believed I deserved one.

But as much as I felt I deserved it, the apology never came.

As weeks went by, the hurt remained. I knew I needed to make a choice:

To either accept the fact that I would never receive that apology and move on from the hurt, or allow the hurt to fester into misery and bitterness toward my offender.

After much wrestling with myself, [and through much prayer], I chose the former.

I imagine we all have experienced situations like this where we are hurt or offended by another, and the apology never comes. It’s not fair, and it’s not right. But, then, neither is life.

When we hold onto the hurt, it causes resentment, and the resentment causes misery.

Misery for ourselves, not for our offender.

  • Why do we think that if we hold onto the hurt, that it somehow affects the one who hurt us? It doesn’t. It just affects us.
  • Why do we think if we hold onto the hurt, it confirms the wrong that was committed toward us? It doesn’t. It just holds us in bondage.
  • And why do we think if we let go of the hurt that it justifies what our offender did? It doesn’t. It justifies that we desire to be healthy more than we desire to be right.

Holding on to the hurt robs our peace, our joy, our well-being. Studies have shown how it affects us physically, emotionally and spiritually. It truly makes us miserable.

And who likes to hang out with miserable??

The offense toward you may be big. And I certainly don’t intend to make light of it. Your hurt is real, as is mine. But may today be a turning point in your pain. May you take a step forward in letting go of it, even if it’s a baby step.

Accept the apology you never received.

Wrestle with yourself if you have to. Give yourself permission to move on from your hurt. Pray. Ask for help. Just take one step.

It probably won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. Your peace will return. Your life will be better because you moved on. And more than likely, you’ll be able to help someone else through a similar experience.

Julie

 

 

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3 Comments

  1. Beth S.

    Wonderful encouragement, Julie. You expressed this very well. I really do enjoy the way you share your heart. Thank you. Blessings.

    Reply
    • Julie

      Thank you, Beth. It’s a blessing to share life with you! Thank you for stopping in today. Wishing you a great week!

      Reply
  2. Mbali

    This is so beautiful. Thank you and God bless you.

    Reply

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  1. How Do I Love My Enemies? - Julie Lefebure - […] thought I had forgiven this person (even in the absence of an apology). But the thoughts I’ve had these…

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