It’s probably safe to say most of us in the U.S. realize it was a big day in our state of Iowa yesterday. But in case you missed it, yesterday was the Iowa Caucus. The first in the nation for this year’s presidential election.
I had never caucused before, and quite honestly, I had no desire to. I was clueless when it came to the process. It wasn’t until I had a conversation with my brother weeks ago, who educated me and encouraged me to attend, that I began to be intrigued.
Yesterday afternoon I was up in the air about going. Part of me wanted to experience my first caucus, yet part of me wanted to stay home.
But being quite honest here, the piece that was holding me back the most was…
I didn’t want to go alone.
I know those words look and sound silly for an adult woman to say, let alone write. I’m slightly embarrassed to even do so. But they are true. No one I knew was interested or able to attend my specific precinct, and the thought of walking into that unfamiliar situation alone nearly horrified me. (And you probably thought this post was going to be about caucusing!)
An internal wrestling match ensued.
“Seriously, Julie. Get a grip. It’s time to put on your big girl pants. You’ve spoken in front of hundreds. You’re writing a book. You can talk to nearly anyone. You’ve spent much of your childhood in that building. You’ll see people you know. It’ll be a great experience.”
“But you’ll have to walk in alone. You don’t know what to expect. You’re not a political person. You might do something to look like a fool.”
Am I the only one who entertains such thoughts? Am I the only one who finds moments of insecurity overriding reality?
Am I the only one who allows insecure moments to rob me of new experiences?
It came down to 6:18 p.m. I had to make a decision. Do I allow insecurity to win? Or do I embrace the adventure of a new experience?
Without waffling any further, I’m sure I relieved my husband of the torture of my indecision when I told him I was going. I put on my boots, grabbed my coat and car keys, and off I went.
Yes, that moment of walking in the building, unsure of what was ahead, caused a twinge of panic. But I kept walking, determined to not let insecurity win.
As I expected, it ended up being an enjoyable evening, and one I’ll remember for years to come. My first caucus. It was a privilege and honor to exercise this right as an American citizen and an Iowan. (And… I didn’t do anything to look like a fool!)
I’m thankful I didn’t let insecurity win. I would have been robbed of a great experience.
Friend, there’s much to be insecure about in this life. I understand some of us deal with insecurity more than others. Some of us have moments of it, like I did last evening. Yet, for some of us, it’s crippling. I can’t and won’t say, “Just get over it.” I know it’s not that easy.
But for me, I’m tired of letting insecurity win. I’m tired of letting it stop me from experiencing all God has for me. I’m weary of it causing me to miss out on adventures in this life.
When we remember Whose we are, and Who is with us, we can face insecurity with courage.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NIV
God’s with us. He’ll hold our hand, and lead the way. He’ll help us to keep walking past the door of panic, and into adventures He has planned for blessing.
Last night’s real victory wasn’t in who won the Iowa Caucus, but it was found in overcoming a moment of personal insecurity.