I had called it quits.
I was done.
I was ready to move on with my life. Without my husband.
I can do this single mom thing. I have no desire to save this marriage. I am tired of being hurt. I deserve to be happy. I’m done.
So I left. I moved out. And took our children with me.
Goodbye and good riddance!
My husband’s heart wasn’t safe with me fourteen years ago. I wish I could say it was. More times than I care to admit, I broke it, stomped on it, abandoned it, crushed it, and spit on it.
I was never the wife to inspire trust in my husband. I imagine for a good part of our marriage, Bill wondered when I’d threaten to leave again.
Well, I did it this time. I have my own apartment, and the kids and I will begin a new life. I am free. I can finally breathe. Yet, why am I feeling even more miserable?
Twenty four hours later, I was calling my husband, saying I made a mistake. The kids and I needed to come back home. God was changing my heart… and quickly. That was the final time I ever said the words, “I want to leave.”
God saved our marriage. Pure and simple.
It was work, repairing the damage that we had done to each other’s hearts. We didn’t just bandage our hurts, we worked at healing them. We gave each other room to grow. And unbelievably, we began to fall in love with each other again.
I began then to pray daily for God to mold me into the wife He wants me to be. There are still days, however, I’m cranky, unloving, selfish, disrespectful, you name it.
Some days I wouldn’t want to be married to me.
But despite those days, my husband knows his heart is now safe with me. We trust each other wholeheartedly. God has brought us a long way.
I’ve learned much this year in BSF, but one incredibly impacting thing I’ve learned and applied to our marriage:
Do what I can to help Bill glorify God in every area of his life.
This puts an eternal perspective on our marriage and my role as his wife. I cannot tell you how much it has impacted our relationship! And if our husbands glorify God through their lives, they will truly have every good thing.
I thank God for saving our marriage! Bill and I will be celebrating our 22nd wedding anniversary in August.
Use this Proverb as a prayer:
“Heavenly Father, equip me to be the wife you desire me to be. Help me to inspire trust with my husband, and may his heart be safe with me. Equip me to help my husband glorify You in every area of his life, and in doing so, may he have every good thing. Amen.”
Wives, and soon-to-be wives, I am lifting you in prayer today. God bless you as you help your husband’s heart to be safe. (I’d love to read your comments below!)
I am linking up with my friend Meredith and a few others for this Woman to Woman Wednesday at 4hisgloryblog.com.
(Scripture from The Voice Bible translation.)