25 Things I’ve Learned In 25 Years Of Marriage

by | Aug 10, 2017 | Love Others, Marriage

25 years. Yes, Bill and I just celebrated our silver anniversary!

That’s a quarter of a century. A milestone. An achievement. It’s nothing short of a gift from God.

This silver anniversary is worth celebrating.

Because we know the good and the bad of these 25 years. We’ve lived the ins and outs, the twists and turns, and the ups and downs of our marriage. We understand how hard the hard days were, and we remember how easy it would have been to call it quits when we didn’t think we could fight for our marriage one more day.

Yet, we recall the thousands of laughs and smiles and beautiful memories we’ve made together. The adventures with God we’ve traveled. The joys we’ve experienced, and the amazing take-your-breath-away moments we’ve encountered along the way. We reminisce of days of simple love and simple times. Of raising a family when the days were long and the years short. Of walking with God one moment at a time, one day at a time, one prayer at a time.

25 years of marriage isn’t always a happily ever after.

But, let me tell you, it’s worth it.

It’s worth standing for your marriage. It’s worth believing the best in it and for it. And, it’s worth surviving the hard days (and years) through prayer and faith.

Yet, we know many don’t make it to 25 years, due to a myriad of reasons and causes. If you’ve walked–or are walking–the painful path of an ended marriage, I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry. My it help to know you’re not alone. I pray God, the Healer of all brokenness, comforts you, strengthens you, and gives you His perfect peace. I am praying for you today.

Bill and I continue to discuss what we’ve learned about marriage and love and life over these 25 years. One thing we both recognize is, we still have lots to learn!

Marriage is a never-ending learning, loving, forgiving, investing, respecting, serving, living commitment of a husband and wife.

Here are some important things I’ve learned so far.

25 Things I've Learned in 25 Years of Marriage

25 Things I’ve Learned in 25 Years of Marriage

  1. Putting God in the center of our marriage is life-changing. (This is our secret of how we’ve made it 25 years together.)
  2. “Be nice to each other.” Living daily by five simple words from our pastor helps me be nice when I don’t want to be.
  3. It’s more important to be happy than it is to be right. (I don’t need to be right all the time.)
  4. It’s not my role to change my husband. Only God can do that.
  5. Learning each other’s Love Language was a game-changer in our marriage.
  6. It’s an honor to pray for my husband daily.
  7. I smile when I make my husband smile.
  8. It’s better to say nothing than to say words that I cannot take back.
  9. When I treat Bill the way I want to be treated, it honors God, Bill, and our marriage.
  10. It’s wise (and necessary) to pray for equipping and growth in my role as Bill’s wife. (I can’t do this on my own.)
  11. Thanking Bill for who he is and all he does is important.
  12. Weekly date night is non-negotiable. (This is another secret of our 25 years together.)
  13. Putting God first, my husband second, and our children third keeps my priorities in balanced order.
  14. Serving my husband becomes an act of worship when I focus on serving God as Bill’s wife.
  15. Standing with and praying for my husband through mistakes he’s made isn’t always easy, but it honors God when I do.
  16. Focusing on being Bill’s helpmate spurs me on to find ways to encourage and help him as we travel together through life.
  17. Finding an activity to do together (tandem bicycling) added extra joy and adventure into our marriage.
  18. When we decided divorce would not be an option for us, we forced ourselves to work through the hard days–and years. (Another secret.)
  19. Being spontaneous and finding ways to have fun together adds a special spark to our relationship.
  20. It makes a difference to find the good in my husband, especially when I’m upset with him.
  21. Praying for our marriage is essential. (Another secret.)
  22. It’s not wise to go to bed angry, as forgiveness is a better choice.
  23. Respecting my husband and building him up are two of the best things I can do, especially in the company of others.
  24. Love becomes sweeter and deeper and stronger with each passing year.
  25. God continues to teach me, grow me, and mold me into the woman and wife He desires for me to be.

25 years of marriage and I’m still learning.

I may never be the perfect wife, but I’m thankful God isn’t done with me.

And, now that we’ve achieved silver, our sights are set on gold. I wonder what I’ll learn in the next 25 years? Thank you for journeying with us. Thank God for the same!





Linking this post with friends Crystal and Suzie.

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  1. Wings of Faith

    Congratulations to both of you for successfully completing 25 years of marriage. Thanks so much Julie for sharing your 25 years of experience and the lessons you have learned along. I will make sure I apply those lessons in my married life as well. Blessings to you!

    • Julie Lefebure

      Thank you so much! It’s been quite the journey, for sure. One that would have been much harder without God guiding us. Praying for your marriage today. Thanks for stopping in and saying hello!

  2. Being Woven

    Truly, I have been blessed for these reminders, Julie. I am at the 24 year plus mark with my precious husband. He is my 2nd but I learned much while I waited for him for 13 years in between.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Linda! Wow, congratulations to you too! May God continue to deepen your love for each other, day by day. Blessings to you!

  3. Shanique

    Congrats on 25 years! I am currently 5 years in, will certainly apply these lessons you mentioned.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Thank you! Praying God guides you and your husband as you put Him in the center of your marriage. God bless you! Thanks for stopping in and saying hello.

  4. Kim

    Congratulations! May your next 25 be full of blessings.


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