I sure do miss you these days, especially today, Father’s Day.
Some people say our loved ones in heaven can see us here on earth. I, however, cannot find anywhere in the Bible where that appears to be true. Nevertheless, I pray you are basking in God’s glory, and I trust you are complete in who He created you to be. I imagine you and Mom spend your days together. I look forward to the day I see you both again.
Father’s Day just hasn’t been the same since you left this earth in 1999. In some ways it seems like forever, and yet in others, it feels like it was last year. Grief is an interesting emotion, but you already know that. You experienced it plenty while on this earth. I find it can wash over you, and nearly drown you, when you least expect it. My heart is being washed over today.
If you were here today, I’d bound through the front door of your home, with gifts in hand, and I’d wish you a happy Father’s Day as I’d likely find you in your recliner in the living room. I’d come over to hug you, and tell you I love you. And who knows, maybe I’d try to sit on your lap one more time, just like I used to as your little girl.
You might be watching the Cubs on t.v., or maybe you’d be working on the Sunday paper’s crossword puzzle. But you’d allow me to interrupt whatever you’d be doing, and you would put up with the noise that a house full of family creates.
If you were here today, I’d tell you one more time just how much you mean to me. I’d tell you how thankful I am for the father you are. I’d express my gratitude for the way you raised me, for the lessons you taught me, and for equipping me to be independent and brave. I’d thank you for your love and your belief in me. I’d thank you for being you.
If you were here today I would ask you how you were able to do all you did, owning your own business and working all on your own. I would ask you more details about your life, and I’d listen to any stories you’d be willing to share. I might even write them down, just so I would never forget them.
If you were here today, I imagine we’d end up at the kitchen table, having coffee, and talking about what kind of bread you made this week in your bread machine, and about your grandchildren and their lives. And, I imagine you’d still call Alissa, Lissy, and Zach, Jasper.
But, Dad, I can’t do any of these with you today. I can’t hug you, or tell you I love you. I can’t share with you how blessed I am because of your love and support. I can’t share coffee with you, or listen to your wisdom.
The only thing it seems I can do today is miss you.
And so I will, and I understand it’s okay to do so. But, I also will live in the legacy you left your family. I will carry your love in my heart, and the priceless memories of what we shared in my mind. I will continue to live in a way that would make you proud, and I’ll not stop sharing “Grandpa stories” with Lissy and Jasper (even though they’re grown).
Dad, you’d be so proud of your beautiful family. You’d especially be proud of your grandchildren. They are amazing, and each one lives in the legacy you left your family… even the ones born after you left this earth.
Thank you, Dad. How you lived your life mattered… not only to you and your family when you were alive here, but also after your physical presence left us. I’m thankful also, because of Jesus, we all have the opportunity to see you again some day.
Until then, we remember, “You gotta be tough.” And we will.
I love you, Dad. Happy Father’s Day.
Love, your little girl,
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