Compare. When appropriate, comparing can be a good thing. But used with people, it can be devastatingly damaging.
It’s day 3 of my blog series, Loving The Skin You’re In, and we’re discussing this important subject. What happens when we compare ourselves to others? Why are we tempted to do so? Sadly, this prevents us from loving the skin we’re in and loving others. Let’s dig a little deeper.
Thanks for joining me for a few minutes today.
Thesaurus.com offers many words to describe the word compare. These are the ones that stood out to me: analyze, contrast, divide, rival, segregate, scrutinize, separate, size up, weigh against another.
And the antonyms of compare? They are: assist, aid, gather, help, join, support, unite. Wow, these words show the contrast in comparing versus not comparing. We can apply this to ourselves.
The act of comparing ourselves to others separates and divides us, it causes rivalries with scrutiny, by sizing up one another and weighing against another. Refusing to compare is supportive and brings unity as we assist, aid, help, and support one another. We gather instead of divide.
So, why do we compare?
Could someone please explain to me why we, as women, generally do this? Why do we compare ourselves to other women? We may not even realize we do it, or maybe we do. We know better, but we’re human. It’s unhealthy, it’s damaging to relationships, and it’s not God’s best for us. Yet, fighting the tendency to compare isn’t the easiest thing to do, is it?.
How do I know? Because I’ve struggled with it for far too long. (I’ve written about this before.) The thing is, our tendency is to compare our “weaknesses” with other women’s “strengths.” For example, as I wrote yesterday, I’ve not liked my thighs for most of my life. Only until recently have I embraced all these thighs allow me to do. I can now say I’m grateful for them!
For years, however, I tended to notice the thighs of other women. In magazines, on t.v., in real life. I know. It’s ridiculous, but that’s what I did. No, I didn’t set out to do this, but my body insecurity got the best of me. If another woman’s thighs were skinnier than mine, that caused me to feel inferior and less-than. However, if the other woman’s thighs were bigger than mine, in a way, I almost felt superior. Both were unhealthy feelings and thoughts, and these affected me and my relationships. Friend, it was awful.
The thing is, God made you to be you and me to be me.
When God formed us in our mother’s wombs, He uniquely created us. We are designed to be different. We already know that no two people are alike, not even identical twins. Not only do we have unique likes and dislikes, and we have different gifts and talents, but God also blessed us with unique bodies and physiques. You and I are created to be one of a kind. God’s best for us is to live in our uniqueness and shine bright right where we are.
…let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t.
Romans 12:6a MSG
Yes, let’s just be who we were made to be. And forget about sizing ourselves up to someone else.
We’re too uncommon to compare.
You and I are uncommon, unmatched, incomparable, unequaled, unrivaled, different, special. You are amazing, just as you are. When we celebrate who we are individually, you and I are more likely celebrate how amazing others are, too. And, we can finally close the door to comparison.
Friend, how can you apply this to your life today? Who needs this truth in her life? Would you pray with me?
Father God, You are amazingly creative in Your creation. Thank You for creating each one of us to be unique and special and one of a kind. Thank You that your fingerprints are all over us. God, please make us aware of just how special each one of us is. Help us to love who we are as Your beloved creation, and please help us to love others through Your love. Lord, when we’re tempted to compare, remind us of truth. Remind us we are uniquely made by You and what You create is good. May we encourage instead of compare and inspire instead of compete. In Jesus’ Name we pray. Amen.
Much love to you today, friend!
It is sad that for so many of us women the only way to feel better about ourselves is through comparison. Even worse is that through comparison most of us end up feeling less everything than everyone else. It is a battle created by the devil! Remember the fig leaf? Eve was ashamed of her naked body. We need your wisdom Julie to remind us to be different and look to God! I appreciate your words!