If you know me, you probably know that I believe God is involved in each life experience we have. I believe He uses every thing we go through or every thing we experience to teach us and mold us (if we are open to that). I also believe He uses the experiences of others to influence us. I think He used an experience today to cause me to again examine my relationship with Bill.
A husband and wife got on an elevator with our family of four. They both had graying hair, and I would guess they were in their 60’s. I wasn’t really paying much attention to them at first. But in our short ride from the second floor to the first, I couldn’t help but notice how this woman treated her husband. She corrected him twice, told him to turn around to face the door, and asked him in a condescending voice, “Where are you going?,” as they were getting off the elevator and he went one way and she the other.
Ali and Zach took notice and each shot me a quick glance. I knew they were thinking the same thing I was. My heart went out to this man. Not knowing this couple’s relationship, and only having exposure to them for less than a minute, I had to be careful not to judge the wife and assume the worst. But what I observed in that less-than-a-minute experience made me look at how I treat Bill.
My first thought was, “Do I ever treat Bill that way?” And my mind was taken back to a couple times recently that I had talked to him in a similar way. It was so negative and demeaning. There was nothing encouraging or uplifting in her words or tone. I was ashamed to be reminded that my tone can get the same way. And that’s not right.
I am always in Bill’s “corner.” I always want what’s best for him. I always want to see him succeed and be rewarded for what he does. I desire God’s best for him. I desire for him to feel respected and appreciated. I never want to make him feel “less-than.” If I ever do, then I’m not being the best wife for him. And I’m not being the kind of wife God is calling me to be.
I promised long ago that I would never be the kind of wife to Bill who would be over-the-top controlling. I’ve seen spouses like that, and I don’t ever want to be one. Bill gives me much freedom and lets me be who I am. I do the same for him. I’ve seen how some have to keep tabs on the other spouse in knowing everything they do, everyone they communicate with, and every little thing that goes on in his/her life. It looks suffocating to me. I don’t ever want to be like that to Bill. And I’m thankful he’s not like that to me. God knew what he was doing when He put us together. 🙂
I’m glad I was able to witness that interaction between that couple today. It was good to be reminded of how not to treat my spouse, and to be sensitive to the words I say to him and how they are said. And I believe it was good for our children to witness that as well!
Another one of God’s important lessons!