“After we get married, I’ll change him.”

I’m not sure I ever consciously thought those words, but I think at times I might have felt that way.

I soon found out in the first few months of our marriage, I had as much power to change my husband as I had to rise and set the sun.

Don’t get me wrong, the man I married was and is my soul mate, and it was clear he was the one for me. He’s a wonderful man, husband, and father. I love him with all I have.

I understand many get married thinking they’ll change something about their spouse after the wedding vows and rings are exchanged, and the honeymoon is over.

When the change doesn’t happen, frustration sets in for both, the “changer” and the “changee.”

And then there was our daughter.

Goodness, she’s talented in all she does. She’s smart, wise beyond her years, and beautiful on the inside and out.

When she quit band her Freshman year in high school, I about had a come-apart. I was a band girl when I was in high school. I was drum majorette. I loved band, and everything about it. I wanted her to follow in my footsteps.

But band was not her thing. I quickly realized, if I “forced” her to stay in band, she would have disliked it all the more, and she and I both would have been miserable.

Just because band was my thing, I had no right to make it her thing.

The best way to love someoneTrue love is not about changing those we love, it’s helping them be the best they can be.

Who am I to think what I desire for my husband or either of my children is best? That’s God’s job, not mine.

God’s best for them might be completely different than my best for them, and by far, much better. God’s plans for their lives are perfect. Mine are not.

This truth set all of us free.

I now enjoy doing what I can do to help my husband and children be all God wants them to be. To spur them on to follow after God’s plan for their lives. To be their biggest cheerleader and encourager.

Even if it’s different than what I expected or wanted.

Wouldn’t it be great if I did this with everyone? To love each one in my life enough to help them be the best they can be?

Today, this is my plan. To love others in this way.

The best way to love someone 01

The best way to love someone.

Care to join me? Instead of trying to change those in our lives, let’s love them enough to help them be the best they can be. Just for today, and let’s see what happens. We may just enjoy it so much to continue to do the same tomorrow.

It’s going to be a great day!



It’s Day 28 of 31 Days Of Loving God & Loving Others. Thank you for stopping in today. It matters to me that you’re here. Have a blessed day! Linking with my friend Holly Barrett for Testimony Tuesday. Her place is beautiful. I encourage you to check it out!

31 Days Loving God Loving Others

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