Talk To You Like You Love You

by | Oct 22, 2014 | 31 Days Loving God Loving Others

Sometimes our biggest critic is ourselves.

“Seriously? Will you ever get it right?”

“That was the most idiotic thing you ever said.”

“You really messed up this time.”

“You are such a dork for doing that.”

“How do you have any friends?”

I’ve said my fair share of such things to myself.

That’s bad enough, but when we continue to push the play button over and over of our hang ups, our mess ups, our foul ups, it becomes about more than just the awful words we say to ourselves.

We begin to believe them.

We begin to believe the lies. The self-defeating lies. The self-damaging lies. defines the word lie as:  a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.

With deliberate intent to deceive.

Friend, when we say such things to ourselves, we are deceiving ourselves.

And we most certainly aren’t loving ourselves.

We aren’t seeing who we are in God’s eyes. We aren’t seeing truth. We are believing what’s not real to be real.

That’s deceit.

The thing is, I believe we may be doing this, without even realizing it!

Think back to yesterday. Or earlier today. Recall the things you said to yourself.

Were they positive, uplifting words, full of hope and encouragement? 

Or were they negative, degrading words, full of despair and accusation?

Were they words you would have said to a friend or to someone you love? 

What you say to yourself

If what you say to yourself aren’t words you would say to a friend, you shouldn’t say them to you.

Let’s put a stop to these words. Let’s begin to only say things about ourselves that honor God. Only words that are full of faith, hope and love. If you need a reminder of who God says you are, click here.

Pay attention to how you talk to yourself today. Friend, don’t say or believe the lies any longer.

None of us are perfect. Not one.

We all make a mess of things. We all say things we shouldn’t. We all will fail. We all stumble.

And just because we do, that doesn’t mean we are worthless.

We can learn from our mistakes and be better because of them.

Tomorrow, we’ll be discussing forgiving ourselves. I invite you back to join the discussion.

Talk to yourselfTalk to yourself like you would talk to someone you love.

Talk to you like you love you.

Have a blessed day!



Celebrating Day 22 of 31 Days Of Loving God & Loving Others! Previous posts can be found here. You bless me by stopping in today! Linking up today with my friends over at Woman2Woman and Coffee For Your Heart. You’ll find encouragement over there!

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  1. Kaylene Yoder

    Oh! This is beautiful! So many people need to know this. TODAY! I wish so much I could have read something like this 15 years ago. Yet, I can’t dwell on the “what ifs”, right? 🙂 God is good! Now I must pass this on to my daughters. Thank you, Julie!

    I’ll be plastering this one all over social media! Much love ~ xoxo

    • Julie Lefebure

      Kaylene, you blessed me here. I wish I would have read something like this 15 years ago too. God is really speaking to me lately on how we treat ourselves. Yes, God is good! So thankful we’re walking this walk of faith with Him, friend! Bless you, and thank you!

  2. Joanne Viola

    Julie, such wisdom in this post. It is so true – we will say to ourselves things we would never say to another. We can be so hard on ourselves, often our own worst critic. May we speak kinder words to ourselves.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Amen, Joanne. May we speak kinder words to ourselves. Thank you for stopping by and sharing today!

  3. Meredith Bernard

    Oh yes, Julie, I’m guilty of my fair share of negative self talk. I just finished a 6-week class by Jennifer Rothschild on this very subject. It helped, but it’s an ongoing process to replace the lies with truth and be able to discern between the two. Thank you for this beautiful reminder today! This is good stuff for Woman2Woman!! Love you, friend.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Meredith! Love you too! And Happy Birthday! 🙂 You’re right, it’s an ongoing process. May God be glorified in what we say to ourselves! Have a beautiful day, and thank you for hosting Woman2Woman!

  4. Beth S.

    So true isn’t it that we are our worst critic. Really appreciated this message today, Julie. It’s one so many of need to hear. Well done.
    Much love. xoxo

    • Julie Lefebure

      Beth, thank you. God is clearly speaking to me on this, so I think I’m the one who needed it the most! I appreciate you friend, and look forward to the day we meet in person!

  5. Jodie

    Yes, Yes! I needed this and think many of us girls need this! This I will impress upon my heart and I will try to remember to talk to myself like I would to someone I love! Thanks for sharing your heart!

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Jodie! Welcome and thank you for stopping in and for sharing today! I pray God uses this in the ways He sees fit to help those of us who struggle with negative self talk. Have a blessed day!

  6. Kim

    Wonderful message/reminder. Sometime last spring it was suggested to me that I try this exercise: Write a letter to myself, about myself but from the perspective of a friend. About 6 mo. later, I was asked if I had done it. I had not. I had thought about it, but it was difficult to begin, so… At any rate, it still took me another month to actually sit down and write it. When I was done, I read it as ME and Oh my! I cried. It was so nice, kind, and understanding. It is so true that we would never say to a friend the things we tell ourselves. I would recommend this exercise to all.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Kim, what a wonderful exercise! I will do this, hopefully this weekend. I’m so glad you shared it here, and how much of an impact it made on you. Great idea! I appreciate your continued encouragement and sharing. You’re a blessing!

      • Kim

        I would love to know what you thought of it when you do it.

        • Julie Lefebure

          Kim, I hope to do it coming up this weekend. If I do, I’ll let you know! Thank you for the idea.

  7. Abby

    Oh yes, I am guilty of this. Negative self-talk. I love the way you put it, Julie. Such a concrete, relatable way to look at it. I’m going to remember this. If I wouldn’t say it to a friend, I shouldn’t say it to myself. Amen, sister! Thanks so much for sharing this. Your words bless me today.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hey Abby! It’s good to see your beautiful face here today! Thank you for visiting and sharing! Yes, I’m guilty of this too. Glad we can encourage each other through those things we struggle with. Hope your week is going well, friend! Many blessings to you!

  8. Elizabeth Stewart

    I’m so glad that I’m your neighbor at Holley’s this week! Your post is full of much needed wisdom.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Elizabeth! Welcome! Thank you for your encouragement and for stopping in. It’s always a joy to meet new friends! Have a beautiful day!

  9. Anita

    Hi Julie,

    Thank you for your thoughtful post. I have to say this is one of my battlegrounds, but with our Lord’s help, He is helping me 🙂

    • Julie Lefebure

      Anita, thank you for visiting! Yes, it’s one of mine too. So thankful we aren’t in this battle alone. We have all we need with our Lord! Bless you!

  10. Sarah Donegan

    Wow. Deliberate intent to deceive. I never thought of it like this cuz I fully believe it at the time! Thank you Julie!

    • Julie Lefebure

      Sarah, I believe it at the time, too. This has been such an eye opener for me. Thanks for coming by and sharing! Have a beautiful week!



  1. 31 Days of Loving God & Loving Others - Julie Lefebure - […] Day 22: Talk To You Like You Love You […]
  2. 5 encouraging posts - Scattering the Stones - […] You are wanted by Holley, from (In)courage and coffee for your heart […]

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