Flaws a "Turn off?"

by | Jun 27, 2012 | Marriage

I was reminded of something the other day. It’s something that has stuck in my mind for years.

I was reminded of hearing a man say his wife told him his white legs were a “turn off” for her. So he started to go tanning to “fix” his legs.

Part of me wanted to gasp after hearing what this man said, and ask, “Are you serious??” And part of me wanted to feel sorry for him. I chose the latter.

How superficial this all seemed to me. I can’t imagine ever asking Bill to go tanning for my benefit. Bill used to be 100 pounds heavier, but I didn’t ever bug him about his weight.

I understand that it’s important for a husband and wife to do what they can to stay healthy and attractive for themselves and each other. I enjoy dressing up and looking nice when Bill and I go out together. I like for Bill to be proud of the woman he has on his arm.

But what reminded me again of hearing this man’s words was when I looked in the mirror the other morning. I saw all the flaws that could be a “turn off” for Bill…

My melasma “spots” on my face which appeared during my pregnancy with Zach.

My fine lines (or more fondly called expression lines) which have appeared as the years have passed, indicating some of the many smiles he has caused to come across my face.

My shiny strands of hair which are actually gray hairs here and there that have been covered by highlights (thanks to my hairstylist Tracy). These “shiny” strands remind me of Mom…I’m slowing showing signs of gray just like she did (and I’m doing my best to hide them, for now).

And I saw the space in my eyelashes where for some reason eyelashes have disappeared, and are slowly growing back in.

These are just the flaws I saw on my face and head. I won’t continue to go further. Each of these things are things I notice, but if Bill ever notices, he never says anything. He never tells me that anything is a “turn off” for him. I have lots of flaws that could be. I’m thankful he doesn’t expect me to “fix” them. I’m doing what I can to, only because they bug me. Daily he tells me I’m beautiful…even without makeup on. I don’t deserve him. I don’t.

I’m thankful Bill accepts me and loves me for who I am…flaws and all.

It’ll be 20 years of being married to this wonderful man this August. I can only imagine how many more flaws I’ll have in the next 20 years. 🙂

wedding 3

That man’s words still run across my memory. And today, I wonder if he’s still tanning his legs.

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