Allow You To Be You And Me To Be Me

by | Nov 10, 2016 | Five Minute Friday, Love Others

We have a saying in our family.

“Let him live.”

(Or let her live. Or let them live.)

The four in our household secretly know this means to let whomever we’re referring to, to live his/her own life. To let him/her be who they are without judgment or condemnation. Even if he/she is acting opposite of what we believe or how we live or doesn’t have much in common with us.

It’s been a powerful short little sentence for us.

When we’re tempted to judge, to correct, to assume, these words stop us in our tracks. When we slip into the thinking our way of believing, acting, or living is best, they help us see another’s perspective.

They help us see others and their lives in a different light. To allow you to be you and me to be me.

But, before I come across in my words that I live according to this sentence and attitude perfectly, let me set the record straight. I don’t. We’ve come up with this saying for a reason. If we (I) didn’t have a problem with it, we (I) wouldn’t need this as a reminder. It’s a whole lot easier to “let someone live” if I have much in common with him/her. It’s an entirely different story when I don’t. I continue to work at it.

I continue to work at allowing you to be you and me to be me.

Let's allow you to be you and me to be me.

How do you do with this, friend? Are you a master at “letting others live,” or do you sometimes struggle in doing so with those you don’t have much in common? With those who raise their children differently than you? With those who believe, talk, live differently than you? Or how about with those whom don’t agree with you on much of anything?

These words encourage me…

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:18 NLT

I pray they encourage you too.

The thing is, we can’t do much of this successfully on our own, but when we ask for God’s help, He’ll give us what we need to allow you to be you and me to be me. Even if we don’t have much in common.

We’ll talk more on this in the future.





Joining the Five Minute Friday community, free-writing on the word COMMON for five minutes straight. (Sorry, I went 6 this week!) Visit Kate’s place to read some amazing writer’s posts. Try it on your own too!

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  1. tammysincerity

    how wise. And how much less we’d carry if we’d let them live instead of trying to live for them. God knows best and we don’t. šŸ˜€ We’re not able to control their lives any more than we can control the weather. Thank you for sharing from your heart. This was beautiful.
    (#3 tonight)

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Tammy! You are so right… we’d carry much less without the weight of everyone else on our shoulders. Good point! Thank you for coming by and for sharing. Have a blessed day!

  2. Annette Tinholt Vellenga

    ah but that’s so hard isn’t it sometimes… to just let people be who they are… and yet… we do need to hold some accountability as well. But it’s the matter of finding out what the heart is … to see why it’s reflected in a life lived. visiting from FMF #7

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Annette! It is hard. Yes, you are correct about accountability, but when it’s not our place to judge (and I begin to do it anyway), I need that tangible reminder to not go there. For me it’s an entirely different issue. So glad you stopped over. I’ll visit your space soon! Blessings to you!

    • Julie Lefebure

      Heeler Meltdown… yeah, I probably don’t want to see that, Andrew. You made me smile with that today. Hope you’re finding peace as you continue to write and share your heart and seek God in doing so. Continuing to pray for you, brother. Thanks for your friendship!

    • Julie Lefebure

      I needed it too, Anne. Daily. Bless you, friend!

  3. Christy

    I LOVE that Julie! So much that I’m going to talk to my husband about implementing an adaptation of it in our home…it’s so easy to get caught up in the “rightness” or condemnation because things do go our way…#16 (and 23) at kate’s

    • Julie Lefebure

      Thanks, Christy. Yes, it’s easy to get caught up in it all. But this helps me. Hope it helps you too! Blessings on your weekend, friend!

  4. Martha G. Brady

    i love that expression julie:) i married a man whose political background was quite different from mine. i had to think hard about whether i would be able to live with that. i realized i would b/c of the reasons that motivated him! over the years, it has been helpful to learn to see the strengths of each party as well as the weaknesses whether it is in government or in the church.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Martha! Yes, politics can be one of those areas where we “allow you to be you and me to be me.” It can be easier said than done. It sounds like you’ve done well over the years with this. So glad you stopped over to share. Blessings to you!

  5. Jeanne Takenaka

    Oh Julie, you got me right in the heart with this one. I struggle with this, more at some times than others. And I confess, as my oldest goes full throttle into the teens, I sometimes struggle with letting him live the way he wants to live. I still want a say in his decisions. Sigh. But, I know that he needs the freedom to begin stretching those wings of his, exercising them and strengthening them so he can live well.

    Thanks for this reminder to let him be uniquely him.

    Love that I’m your neighbor at FMF this week. I’m just sorry it took me ALL day to get over here. šŸ™‚

    • Julie Lefebure

      Jeanne, I can so relate. Now that my children are grown and are temporarily still at home, it’s hard for me some days to let them live their own lives. So hard! It’s a continual balance of parenting and extending freedom, isn’t it? You’re a great mom, Jeanne. Keep up the great work! Thank you for coming over!

  6. Tara L Ulrich

    Julie, yes! So much THIS: “They help us see others and their lives in a different light. To allow you to be you and me to be me.” I’m in the 49 spot this week.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Tara! Thanks, friend. It’s always a joy to have you here. I’ll stop over to your place soon!


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