When Loving Others Isn’t Easy

by | Jun 13, 2015 | Love Others

When loving others isn't easy

Loving God and loving others.

After hearing a sermon from a respected area pastor on Matthew 22 in my early blogging days, the above title for my blog stuck. What better reminder for this girl who seemed to struggle with loving anyone but herself?

All these years, every time I log into my blog I’m reminded of what Jesus said are the two greatest and most important commandments…

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ Matthew 22:37-39

Still, there are days I mess up the “loving others” part. I wish I could say I love others perfectly. But I can’t, because I don’t. It’s the title of my blog, so I should be good at loving others 24/7, right?


I mean, really… more than I care to admit I can be selfish, frustrated, impatient, judgmental, and down-right unloving. And friend, when I’m these all at the same time, let me tell you, it’s ugly.

Ask my husband. He’s taken the brunt of these un-pleasantries, and has seen it all. It’s a wonder he still puts up with me. (I’m thankful he does!)

Maybe you understand where I’m coming from. Maybe there are days when loving others isn’t easy for you, too. Good news! We aren’t alone in this. God will help us if we ask Him to, and from personal experience, this makes all the difference.

God will help us love othersAlso, no matter if it’s a family member, a friend, or the person who cuts me off on the highway, when I sense unloving thoughts rising, I now try to remember three key truths:

1. God loves this person as much as He loves me.

God loves all His creation, including you, and including me. Nothing can separate us from His love. He also doesn’t love one person more than another. So, if God loves us all the same, I should too. After all, God has shown me love when I didn’t deserve it, and I’m thankful He continues to do so.

2. This person has a story.

There is a story inside every person, and often what someone is dealing with comes out completely different in actions and words. I may never know what’s truly going on inside that person, but this is when I can show grace and mercy. This is when I can remove my judgments and just show love.

3. He/she is filled with great qualities.

Instead of focusing on the negative, I try to focus on positive qualities this person has, and the many things I see God has blessed him/her with. This is more difficult with someone I don’t know, but I still attempt to look for the good. “She’s a talented cook.” “He provides for his family.” “She’s a good mom to her children.” “He takes care of his car.” The unloving thoughts disappear much more quickly when I look at the positive.


I don’t always follow these perfectly, and sometimes I catch myself too late. But I’ve found these three truths help keep me on track to continue loving others the way God asks me to.

What helps you love others? What assists you to show love when you “aren’t feeling it?” Would you share one of them below? Your idea might just be the answer to someone’s prayer today, and I’d love to read it and encourage you, as well.

May we each be intentional on loving God and loving others throughout our day today and in the week ahead.



It’s a joy to link up with Mary, Barbie & friends at The Weekend Brew and Susan and friends at #DanceWithJesus. I invite you to visit these two amazing place for more encouragement over your weekend.

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  1. Holly Barrett

    Julie, I can be that same unloving, unforgiving, judgmental person too. Sometimes it’s because I’m a truth girl and forget to act with mercy. Sometimes it’s because I’m just giving in and choosing to be mean. But always it’s because I’m not thinking of the other person. What helps me is to remember my current memory verse, “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” I Peter 4:8 NLT I used to think that meant when I love someone, it covers up their sin. Now I see that when I show love for another person, that love covers up my sin. Goodness knows, I need all the covering up there that I can muster! 🙂 Praying today that we can always truly love others! Happy Sunday, friend.

    • Julie Lefebure

      “Love covers up my sin.” Amen to that, Holly. I love your words here, and I needed them more than I realized today. I’m glad I’m not alone on this journey, and others can relate. May God continue to mold us and grow us in His image today. Much love sent your way, my friend!

  2. Mary Geisen

    Loving others should be easy but it is not. I have found that even before I have given someone a chance, I am swayed by what others have already told me about the person whether it is true or not. The best thing we can do besides not listen to other people’s perceptions is give that person the gift of time and conversation. Engage in actually getting to know the person and find out who they really are without the views of other people steering you. This happened to me this year with another teacher who I have “known” about for years but never took the time myself to get to know her. Spending time with her made all the difference. Great words for my Sunday morning. Glad to have you at The Weekend Brew.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Great perspective, Mary. And so true!! “Give that person the gift of time and conversation” is a powerful piece of advice. Thank you! What a blessing it is to have you here today, and to be a part of The Weekend Brew community. Such a beautiful place of encouragement and love. Have a super week, friend!

  3. Kim

    Julie, I have been dwelling on your words for over a day now. I had thoughts, but was not sure how to put them into words. My first inclination was, “I do not often have difficulties with loving other people.” Because, one, I do not have a job outside of the home and two, I tend to try and see other peoples perspectives in their responses. I usually have a glass is half full view, as well as take on a peace keeping role in life. But, alas, today I realized that my issues with loving others are most often with those I love deeply. Family. I was thinking loving others meant those outside my close circles. When loved ones frustrate me because they do not act or respond the way I expect them to, or the way I think they should, I often respond in a not so loving way.

    For me, the best way to re-love them :), is to stop talking, think and reflect on the situation, try to understand what they may be feeling and revisit the topic of conversation with a softness not previously shown.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Amen, Kim. I so can relate to your words, and I appreciate the actions you take to re-love those in your life. I believe many of us experience the difficulty of loving others who are those we love deeply. May God continue to grow us in and through His love to love others better (and more like Him)! It’s a blessing to have you here, Kim. Thank you!

  4. Abby Breuklander

    Hi Julie!! One thing that I try to remember is something that one of my medical specialists told me a couple months ago. Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves for a reason, if I don’t love myself the right way, I can’t love someone else the right way. It’ll be out of balance and spill over into every other relationship I have, whether family, friend or stranger. Every time I have a problem come up with someone I try to keep this in mind!

    • Julie Lefebure

      Such a solid truth, Abby. Thank you for adding this! Loving others doesn’t work until we can love ourselves. Your words encourage me today. So glad you stopped by. Have a great week!


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