Loving Instead of Competing

by | Oct 8, 2014 | 31 Days Loving God Loving Others

Competition can be a good thing. I certainly like it when my Cardinals and Colts win, and when my son’s soccer team wins!

But when it reaches to places like among friends, family members, co-workers, fellow moms and dads, neighbors, and each other, it can become a not-so-good-thing.

This negative kind of competing can come with any age, beginning when we’re young with a, “My dad is better than your dad” kind of mentality. It can carry into adulthood when we either have to own the best, or be the best to feel worthy, important and to “fit in.”

This kind of competing isn’t healthy, and if you’ve experienced it, wouldn’t you agree, it can become daunting and discouraging??

Friend, we aren’t called to compete with one another. We are called to love one another.

John 13 34-35 Love one another.

Jesus’ words in John 13:34-35:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Love one another.

Part of loving others is removing the competition between us.

It’s doing what you can to help another, and believing the best in each other.

It’s helping someone else be successful, and rejoicing in his or her successes.

Minus any jealousy and envy.

For many years, I let competing drive me to the point of consuming me. I wanted to be the best and have the best. I had difficulty being genuinely happy for anyone who received something I didn’t. I hung out with jealousy and envy often.

I was one miserable person. I still wonder today how I had any friends!

But over time, God broke me of all that competing and striving. Lesson after difficult lesson.

I’m so thankful He did.

God doesn’t call us to be better than anyone else. He doesn’t even call us to be the best or have the best. He calls us to love Him and love others. He calls us to live to glorify Him and do our best for Him.

It’s quite likely our paths are different. God may very well call me to do something different than He does you. It’s not necessary to compete with each other on our different paths. It makes more sense to love and encourage each other on them, doesn’t it?

We each have beautiful opportunities to do so as we each walk out the journey that’s before us.

  • We can encourage a mom who’s feeling weary.
  • We can encourage a co-worker who is having a bad day.
  • We can celebrate a friend who is following after her dream.
  • We can be happy for someone who just received a promotion.
  • We can genuinely congratulate a friend whom was just given good news.
  • We can appreciate each other’s differences, instead of comparing.
  • We can truly love one another the way Jesus encourages us to.

Loving instead of competing.

What a beautiful and freeing way to live!

May God bless you on your journey as you love others in this way!



It’s Day 8 of 31 Days of Loving God & Loving Others. I’d love to read any thoughts on this subject you’d care to share below. Have any experience with this? Is there something you do to love others instead of competing with them?

Thank you for visiting today! Linking up with Holley Gerth for Coffee For Your Heart.

31 Days Loving God Loving Others

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  1. Lauren

    Thank you for this reminder today.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Lauren! You’re welcome. Thank you for stopping by!

  2. Beth S.

    My husband and I just had a discussion yesterday on the difference between healthy and unhealthy competition. How wonderful to come read your post today on this topic. 🙂 Much love to you, Julie. xoxo

    • Julie Lefebure

      Well, isn’t that interesting?! This has been heavy on my heart for some time now, and the words finally came to me the other day to put in a post. I love it when God speaks to us in multiple ways on a subject! Thank you for sharing that, Beth! Blessings to you today!

  3. Anita Ojeda

    I’ve always loved a good competition–but you’re so right–competing can be soul-shriveling. I’m learning to compete with myself and try to compliment others. What a great topic for today! Thank you for the reminder that life is all about sharing God’s love (which is hard to do when your foot is resting on your competitor’s neck 😉 ).

    • Julie Lefebure

      Anita, you just made me laugh out loud! Literally!! You are so right! Your last sentence is spot on. That was me for years! Sharing God’s love is much better! So glad you stopped over today to share your words, your heart and your humor! Hope you’re having a terrific week, friend!

  4. Katie Reid

    Hi Friend!:) Love that list- you should make it into a graphic and Pin it.:) Thank you for offering your heart and words as a blessing and encouragement to others.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hey friend! What a gift to see you here today! You are reading my mind…to make that list into a graphic and Pin it! I’m hoping to carve out some time to do that soon. Your words are confirmation for me! Praying God is blessing you with His presence this week. Thanks for being here today!

  5. Rachelle Paige

    Wonderful topic. This lesson is so hard to teach and learn! Competing distracts us from God’s path for our lives.

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Rachelle! Thank you for stopping in! Yes, it is a hard one to teach and to learn! I’m still learning. Blessings to you today!

  6. Valerie Sisco

    I love all the suggestions of simple ways to encourage instead of compare! Appreciating differences is a hard one for me, but so worth the effort!

    • Julie Lefebure

      Hi Valerie! I think it’s hard for all of us. I’m not sure I’ll ever perfect it this side of eternity. Thank you for stopping in and sharing today! Have a great day!

  7. Betsy

    Hi Julie. I love how you say we’re not called to be the best; we’re called to love. I’m not a competitive person by nature, but I certainly do deal sometimes with envy or negative feelings when someone gets something I want! I want to be a cheerleader for others instead!

    • Julie Lefebure

      So do I, Betsy! A cheerleader for others. Great words! Thank you for sharing. It’s always a joy to have you here!

  8. Sarah Donegan

    So true! I have had to stop myself when I want what someone else has. I feel like I am finally learning that I have what God wants me to have….and it is good! 🙂

    • Julie Lefebure

      Such a healthy perspective on life, Sarah! We have what God wants us to have. I’ll be thinking about that the rest of today! Thank you!



  1. 31 Days of Loving God & Loving Others - Julie Lefebure - […] Day 8: Loving Instead of Competing […]

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