The Shoulds We Put on Others
He should know better. She should have called. They should be doing that differently. Sound familiar?
We’ve spent time talking about the shoulds we put on ourselves. But what about the expectations we place on other people?
In this episode of Encouragement for Real Life, Julie continues The Shoulds We Live By series by exploring how our shoulds affect our relationships and the way we respond to others.
Julie shares some everyday examples from her own life. Her husband folding towels differently than she does. A driver cutting her off in traffic. Shopping carts left scattered at the grocery store.
Different situations. Different people. But each one revealed an expectation she had placed on someone else. And sometimes the other person didn’t even know that expectation existed.
Not all expectations are unreasonable. People have responsibilities. Commitments matter. Common courtesy matters, too.
Our shoulds not only affect us, but they affect others.
But what happens within us when someone doesn’t do what we think they should? Frustration can build. Irritation can linger. And our expectations can affect how we treat others.
Julie shares three questions to consider when someone doesn’t meet our expectations:
- Do I need to communicate this?
- Do I need to let it go?
- Do I need to adjust my expectations?
Through Colossians 3:12-13, Julie reminds us of God’s call to compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness.
Because sometimes “you should” really means “I would.” And different doesn’t automatically mean wrong.
This week, pay attention when you catch yourself thinking, “He should,” “She should,” or “They should.”
Instead of immediately reacting, invite God into your response.
We can’t control what others do. But with God’s help, we can choose how we respond.
Also mentioned: Julie’s printable workbook, I Should Probably, and her November 5 online gathering, When Life Feels Like a Lot.
Links:
Last week’s episode: 272. Should Doesn’t Always Mean You Should
Colossians 3:12-13 NIV
I Should Probably… workbook
When Life Feels Like a Lot online women’s gathering
Julie’s free Resource Library
Watch on YouTube
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